RRN Online Volume 334

October 26 02

Volume 334

Baton Rouge Trip A Family Affair

Ever since Windstar a doctor in Greenville recommended Barbara see a surgeon in Baton Rouge, LA, at a breast clinic there, we've made twice yearly pilgrimages for her checkups. Barbara had a small lump while we lived in Greenville that turned out to be benign, and her doctor in Greenville drained the fluid from the lump. It was afterwards that she began to see the doctor in Baton Rouge.

Of all the places I've been to in Louisiana, Baton Rouge and New Orleans top the list of places I'd rather not have to revisit. My objection to either place is traffic-centered. I simply do not like to drive on congested highways.

Our earlier visits to the breast clinic in Baton Rouge took us closer to the downtown area than is now required. I was glad when the clinic moved adjacent to the hospital on the outskirts of town and not far from Denham Springs. So, now, I complain less about the traffic and more about the five and one-half hour trip to get there from Pontotoc.

While it is certainly possible to drive there and back in a day, it's a harder day than either of us cares to spend. Most often, we drive down one afternoon, spend the night, and get up the next morning to see the doctor, then drive back in the afternoon. It's a bit more expensive having to stay overnight, but it's definitely easier on our bodies.

Our most recent trek to Baton Rouge found us with company, namely Rayanne and Co. Barbara had earlier talked to her doctor about a problem Rayanne's oldest daughter, Anna, was experiencing and had made her an appointment for the same day.

Whether it's a vacation, a ballgame, or a shopping excursion to an outlet mall, Rayanne likes to involve everyone in her adventures, and I'm a little surprised we didn't end up taking a chartered bus to Baton Rouge with half of Belmont and some Pontotoc relatives. Instead, we packed six people (Anson, Rayanne, Anna, Merilese, Barbara and Wayne) into her Ford Windstar minivan and headed for Jackson, MS, where we spent the night. Rayanne's youngest daughter, Katherine, was kind enough to stay with her Adams' grandparents in Belmont. Our layover in Jackson meant that with the remaining two and one-half hour leg of the trip still ahead of us no one would be sleeping in the next morning.

"Rick Greene wants to take us out to supper," she had told me. "He says we can spend the night at his house with Leslie and him, if we want to."

Barbara and I figured that would be too much of an imposition and made plans for the entire mini-van bunch to stay in a suite at the Hampton Inn near the Coliseum.

Rayanne and Co. did not arrive in Pontotoc until almost five o'clock Wednesday afternoon. Rick Greene wanted our dining experience to be somewhat unusual, so he selected a Japanese restaurant. Rayanne had never eaten at one, but I had. Though not overly impressed with Japanese cuisine, I was willing to endure it again, if it served as an educational experience for the family.

We met Rick and Leslie shortly after 8 p.m. at the restaurant and were soon scanning the menu, while fighting off "sticker shock" upon reviewing the prices. Somehow, I didn't recall rice being so expensive. It was only my second visit to a Japanese restaurant, but I remembered being seated around a large grill watching a chef prepare our food. I also remembered the role of the chef was as much "showman" as it was "cook." Our chef did not disappoint us in either respect.

I had forgotten that in preparing the flat, stainless steel grill for cooking the chef first created a large fire by igniting oil and a slightly more explosive liquid like alcohol. The flames startled most everyone. Rayanne flung herself backward to avoid singeing her eyebrows, Merilese screamed in fear and crawled into her daddy's lap, while I sat there thinking I had waited too late to shield my hair from the heat. Fortunately, no damage was done.

Everyone enjoyed the food and the Adams and the Carters enjoyed visiting with the Greenes. Merilese had about warmed up to our chef when he created a volcano using raw onion rings. More flames and smoke sent her back into her dad’s arms.

One might think we’d had our fill of food, but Rayanne wanted us all to stop by an ice cream parlor we’d passed on the way to the Japanese restaurant. They advertised their product as homemade and perhaps it was, but it’s not the kind of homemade I think of, and I’m fairly certain they don’t use a White Mountain model, hand-cranked ice cream freezer. However, with an average price of $3.00 per cone, I would have expected the product to be more flavorful or at least have more of a homemade texture.

I think it was ten o’clock when we checked into the motel. Our room was pre-cooled, due to someone leaving the cold air running full blast. Cold was not what I needed, so I flipped the control over to heat. No sooner had I done so than our fire alarm sounded. Apparently, the unit had not been on since last winter, because the warm air smelled of burning lint. There was no visible smoke, only a smell. Oh, there was an ear-piercing sound coming from the smoke detector over the bed, too. It was too much for Merilese, who clasped her hands over her ears and shed more tears over yet another commotion.

I tried to disarm the alarm by unplugging the unit from its base. That did not work, but Rayanne and Anson grabbed pillows and using them as fans fanned fresh air toward the detector, and it soon ceased its alarm. My two granddaughters bedded down on a couch in one room, while the rest of us slept on the two beds in the bedroom. My sleep began shortly after midnight and lasted until my alarm clock sounded at five-thirty. Somehow, we managed to have everyone in the van by seven-thirty and were soon on our way to Baton Rouge. It was a quite ride, as most everyone slept for the duration of the journey.

Our wait at the doctor’s office was more lengthy than usual, as the staff was running a little behind schedule. Anna was noticeably quiet and obviously nervous about seeing a breast doctor for the first time. Barbara showed no signs of stress because she was familiar with the routines, and if she were apprehensive, it did not show. Each received a good report, and each was told to come back in six months.

After lunching at a cafeteria near Baton Rouge, I relieved Anson of his driving responsibilities until we stopped in Grenada, MS, roughly an hour and a half’s drive from Pontotoc. We arrived in Pontotoc approximately twelve hours after leaving the motel in Jackson. Jason had cooked a large pot of chili for our supper, and while he claimed it tasted like something was missing, no one complained, and we were grateful for it.

As trips go, the trek to Baton Rouge and back went more smoothly than I anticipated. I don’t recall anyone getting bent out of shape with anyone else, as is sometimes the case when family members are cooped up with one another for an extended period of time. Perhaps, we’ll do it again in six months.

Made In China Shoes And Tables

Pick up a shoe, any shoe, in Wal Mart and one is likely to find it was manufactured in China. For that matter, pick up most anything except detergent and paper goods at Wal Mart and it may very well carry the "Made in China" stamp or sticker.

A few years before his death, Wal Mart's founder, Sam Walton promoted items that were made in the U.S.A. Sam's dead, and America has pretty much given up the manufacture of clothing and other goods to other countries where labor is notoriously cheap. American consumers don't complain, because they perceive it's a better deal for them. Unfortunately, a lot of folks dependent upon manufacturing jobs in this country are now on relief. Free trade may or may not be a good deal for everyone, however, I don't imagine the Chinese are complaining.

Rayanne works for a furniture manufacturer in Belmont and a lot of the furniture sold by the Schnadig Corp. is made in China. As an employee, she is able to purchase discontinued items, overstocks, scratched and dented items, or returned items at a greatly reduced price. Sometimes, stuff is piled up and employees are encouraged to take what they want.

Rayanne brought us a free table for our kitchen's dining area about the time we moved into our present home. It was missing a piece that attached to the pedestal and widened the base for stability. The round, solid wood table was beautifully stained and just what we needed in the bay window of the kitchen, so I found a way to use it. I made spacers to fasten between the tabletop and the pedestal to give the table sufficient height for dining and planned to one day attach something to the base of the pedestal to increase stability. Plans and follow-through don't always go hand in hand, and I never solved the stability problem.

However, on our trip the Baton Rouge, Rayanne mentioned her company had eleven tables for sale, just like mine, and all with the required base. The tables were unassembled, but at $65 per each, it was a bargain I could not refuse. I figured I'd never get a base made for that price, so I asked Rayanne to put her name in the pot for one of them. She phoned us the next day with the good news, and I picked it up Saturday afternoon.

The table was assembled Sunday afternoon with Jason helping (yeah…shocked me, too). It even has levelers on the base, sort of like the kind on refrigerators. If only it didn't have the "Made in China" sticker under the tabletop, Sam Walton and I would both be prouder of the bargain.

Bodock Beau Baptism And Political Primer

One doesn't have to look very far to find those who take their religion seriously. The past year has served to educate our country regarding the fact that some people take religion extremely seriously. Hoping to offset some of the negative aspects of religious extremists, the following is offered as a lighthearted look at a familiar sacrament of the Christian church.

Finding Jesus

A man was stumbling through the woods totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the river and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns and is almost overcome with the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him into the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I have not."

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the river again -- for a bit longer this time. He again pulls him up out of the water and asks him, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I have not found Jesus!!"

By this time, the preacher is at his wits end. He's never had anyone as reluctant as this poor, inebriated soul. So he dunks the drunk into the river once more -- and holds him down for about 30 seconds.

When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, he pulls him up and, yet again, asks him the important question: "For the love of God, Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

Contributed by Katie Jackson

The following was edited due to its length. However, it's a pretty good political primer.

Two Cow Theory

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbra Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

AMERICAN BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself, and do an IPO on the 2nd cow. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when they drop dead. You spin an announcement stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.

FRENCH CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.

GERMAN CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, run a hundred miles an hour, live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. Unfortunately they demand 13 weeks of paid vacation per year, and have their hearts set on grazing all over Europe.

BRITISH CAPITALISM
You have two cows. Both are mad. You make a documentary about them for BBC that nobody watches. Someone else makes a witty comedy about them and everyone watches that.

ITALIAN CAPITALISM
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. While you are ambling around looking for them you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. The Russian Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

SWISS CAPITALISM
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. You charge extra for not disclosing to whom the cows belong.

INDIAN HINDU CAPITALISM
You have two cows. Your children are starving, so you pray to the cows for divine relief.

CHINESE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the true numbers, execute him, and sell his organs in Hong Kong.

POLISH CAPITALISM

You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CAPITALISM
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out of state tell you which is the best-looking one.

SAN FRANCISCO CAPITALISM
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute. Too bad she's a female.

Contributed by Ed Dandridge

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