RRN Online Volume 328

September 14 '02

Volume 328

Felicia's Townhouse Back At UM For Fall Semester

It was about three, maybe four, weeks ago that my phone rang on a Saturday afternoon. The voice on the other end belonged to my niece, Felicia Brown.

"Uncle Wayne, could you please bring me the antique cherry dresser that's in Mama's dining room. It's okay with her. She said I could use it for a computer desk. Bring the computer, too," she added, before asking what time I thought I could get there.

Felicia was working that afternoon at Chaney's Drug Store in Oxford, the store she's worked at since starting her college days at Ole Miss. She doesn't make enough money to support herself and pay for her college tuition, but it prevents her mother from attempting a third job.

It was one of those busy Saturdays that I had spent cutting grass, weed eating, and washing the car, not to mention grinding hamburger meat in preparation for supper. I checked the clock and figured, I could have the pickup loaded, finished with supper, and in Oxford before dark.

"Tell me how to get to your new apartment, and I'll meet you there at eight o'clock," I advised.

"It's on Washington Avenue," she replied and began to explain the location.

I stopped her with, "Okay, let's say I'm on the Square in downtown Oxford, and head west. How do I find you?"

"You know where the sign is that's on the underpass? Well, turn right at the next red light after the underpass. That's Washington Avenue. Drive until you see the new condominiums with a black sign and gold letters with the address. Turn left, and I'll be at apartment number 9," she explained.

I would later learn, Felicia had been advised to contact me, rather than trying to get Jason's help. Her mother had told her that Uncle Wayne would probably be her best bet. Jason might have helped her, but he's not as reliable for spur-of-the-moment action as I am.

Jason did help, indirectly. He and I went to Sarah's house and picked up the dresser. Had I known, we'd have to clean out the drawers, move the monogramming machine, clear a path to the back door, tote the dresser down the steps, then transport it around the house to avoid the bees that have taken up residence in a box of Christmas garland in the carport, then I'd have allowed another half-hour to get to Oxford.

Sarah, Felicia, and Barbara had all been stung by the bees, and while they look like honeybees, I'm told the sting is nothing like that of a honeybee. Felicia cried with her pain, Barbara applied cold compresses to her swollen hand for days on end, and Sarah used a few swearwords to describe her hurting. We have since discovered the bees are actually guinea wasps, which are similar in size to a honeybee, but far more aggressive. It now seems prudent to wait until cold weather before attempting to eradicate the irritable wasps.

Once the dresser was loaded, the computer and printer were carefully placed in the bed of the pickup followed by a short prayer of petition asking that any late afternoon thunderstorms be diverted. I may have made a bad decision in loaning Felicia my color printer. I use it infrequently, but I do (Should I say did?) use it. Just last week, I needed it to print the cover for this year's copies of Ridge Rider News. Fortunately, Jason has a color printer that will get me over the occasional color printer crisis.

One of these days, I've got to get the air conditioner fixed in "Old Blue." Barbara and I were mostly dehydrated by the time we got to Felicia's apartment. Upon arrival, we were somewhat rushed to get everything up the stairs and assembled so Felicia could get back to her friends waiting for her at a nearby restaurant.

The apartment Felicia shares with two other young women is pretty classy. The mother of one of her roommates decided to invest in a new townhouse as a tax break on a rather healthy sum of money she was awarded in a divorce settlement. It's a three bedroom two bath townhouse with a garage and is equipped with all the necessary appliances for comfortable living including an alarm system. The owner financed a portion of the cost of the townhouse and only requires enough rent to make the small monthly mortgage payments, so Felicia's share is a bargain. Compared to the dorms I once stayed in, the townhouse is as different as a sharecropper's shack from a plantation home. It must be nice to receive a college education while enjoying the benefits of living in a small mansion.

Ole Miss requires freshmen to live on campus, but others are allowed to live off campus if they like. Back in the Stone Age when I attended Ole Miss, most of the students, who did not commute, lived in the dormitories on campus. For various reasons, the University has changed its policies with respect to student housing, and but for a great protest from parents and alumni, a few years ago, might have allowed the habitation of both male and female students on the same dorm floor.

Barbara and I left after setting up everything in working order for Felicia. We bypassed the busy Court Square but stopped for refueling at the Exxon station at Lamar and University Ave. Unleaded regular was selected for "Old Blue" while choosing bottled water for ourselves. Speaking of bottled water, who would have guessed we'd one day be paying more for water than a "coke?" The ride back to Pontotoc was uneventful unless you count "watching sweat dry" as an event.

Rumors Of War Questioning The Wisdom

The last poll I saw indicated roughly sixty percent of Americans favor attacking Iraq for the purpose of ousting Saddam Hussein. Personally, I'd like to hear or read the actual question that elicited the responses, because I don't necessarily trust the poll information as fully reliable. Anyway, sometimes the questions seen geared in such a way as to manipulate the poll toward a particular result.

Politics being what it is, it's hard for any President to avoid criticism and second-guessing by the opposing political party. President Bush's early efforts to wage war on terrorism following the September 11^th attacks merited him high approval ratings. Almost a year later, with "Osama bin Hidin'" on the lam or possibly dead, Bush's approval rating has slipped a number of points.

For the past few months, President Bush and his administration have talked of the possibility of attacking Iraq. I have heard little, in the way of new evidence, that the Iraqi leader poses a greater threat today than he did ten years ago and like many have questioned the urgency of deposing him now.

In the Gulf War, America and its allies pushed Iraq out of Kuwait, and many of us recognized at the time the need to oust Saddam Hussein from power. However, our then President Bush, felt America had fulfilled her commitment to Kuwait and that pursuing Hussein all the way back to Baghdad would be politically ill advised. I think we all knew then that America would one day have to deal with Saddam Hussein again.

We have had continual problems with Hussein ever since, ranging from disputes over no-fly zones and human rights violations to on again off again weapons inspections. Americans have generally regarded Saddam Hussein as a despicable enemy. However, regarding him as despicable is inadequate grounds for effecting his removal from power.

The way I see it, our country and our leadership is in a no-win situation. We can use the military to get rid of Saddam Hussein, but that will only further hinder U.S. relations with other Arab countries and possibly invite more terrorist attacks upon the U.S. We can wait for Hussein to attack us or one of our allies, and most of the world will approve of whatever counter attack is launched against Iraq. The families of those killed by whatever form of warfare Saddam imposes with his strike will blame the U.S. Government for not having acted sooner to prevent the supposed madman from attacking anyone. Thus, America will be blamed and criticized with either choice in dealing with Hussein.

I would like to believe that our President has the integrity to not use "war" as a means to keep Americans focused on problems abroad rather than problems that need to be addressed at home. I would like to believe our government has sufficient cause to launch a strike against another country for reasons other than we simply don't like the idea that another country may possibly be developing weapons of mass destruction. And, in the event war is inevitable, I would like to believe this country will support our military in its endeavors.

Bodock Beau Two Farmers - One General

One can only conclude that the demise of family farms in America may not be blamed on the lack of intellect or inventiveness of the American farmer.

An old country farmer with serious financial problems bought a mule from another old farmer for $100 who also agreed to deliver the mule the next day. However, the next day he drove up and said,

"Sorry, but I have some bad news: The mule died."

"Well, then, just give me my money back."

"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

"OK, then. Just unload the mule."

"What ya' gonna do with a dead mule?"

"I'm going to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle off a dead mule!"

"Sure I can. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the two met up, and the farmer who sold the mule asked, "Whatever happened with that dead mule?"

"I raffled him off just like I said I would. I sold 500 tickets at $2 a piece and made a profit of $898."

"Didn't anyone complain?"

"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Submitted by Malcolm Lindsey

General's Interview

Note: This is a complete fabrication but makes for a decent joke and tells of a National Public Radio interview between a female broadcaster, and U.S. Army General who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

Female Interviewer: "So, General, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"

General: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."

Female Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"

General: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."

Female Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"

General: "I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. "

Female Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."

General: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? "

Note: Once more, the interview never happened it's a joke.

Submitted by Powell Prewett, Jr.

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