RRN Online Volume 305

April 27 '02

Volume 305

Saint Shake Sunday Morning Activity

We of the Christian faith are redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. That may sound a little "paganistic" for the uninitiated, but to the early Christians, especially those who converted from Judaism, it was symbolism well understood. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) would have had a field day in the First Century. Then again, maybe not, as the authorities of that era would have had little sympathy for their point of view. In fact, PETA people might have ended up in the digestive tract of some animals.

Animal sacrifice was all part of the worship experience of the ancient Jew, and when God saw fit to reveal Himself to the world through His Son, Jesus of Nazareth, He worked within the framework of Judaism. Animals were sacrificed in Jewish rituals to atone for the sins of the worshiper. Jesus' death was one of atonement in that He gave His life sacrificially to atone for the sins of everyone for all time.

Persons who believe in Jesus and trust Him for their personal salvation are granted a state of righteousness, a righteousness unmerited, but nevertheless made possible by Jesus' act of atonement. Any believer made righteous by the blood of Jesus is also set apart from those who remain in sin, and it is in the context of being set apart that believers are called "Saints." If I remember my studies correctly, we base our word "saint" on a couple of Hebrew words whose roots are "separate" and "holy." By living in but not "of" the world, Christians are saints.

First Century Christians had no qualms about referring to one another as saints, but over the years, Roman Catholics have elevated the meaning "saint" and have chosen to bestow "sainthood" to a select few among us. Baptists have long maintained that the ground at the foot of the cross is level, meaning no one is more deserving of salvation or sainthood than another. Maybe it's because of the misuse of the word "saints" by some religious groups that Baptists shy away from using the term. One can find "saints" used in older hymns and in "Gospel Music," but rarely do Baptists think of themselves as saints. Since the lifestyle of a typical Baptist is not marked by self-denial or sacrifice, perhaps that's why so few are comfortable with the "saint" title.

While my life is not characterized by self-denial and sacrifice, I don't have a problem thinking of myself as a saint. After all, I'm a believer, washed in the blood, redeemed from the bondage of sin, made righteous by Jesus' atonement, and bound for Glory.

Yes, I'm a Saint, and when I sing, "Lord, I want to be in that number, when the saints go marching in," I'm not singing that I "hope" to be there, I'm singing the confident assurance that I "will" be there.

Sometimes, my "sainthood" slides, as happened last Sunday morning. It seems the older I get, the harder it is for me to get up and get going on Sunday mornings. I don't know that age alone is the contributing factor, because pushing myself to near exhaustion working outside on fair-weather Saturdays could have more to do with my tiredness than age.

It may be true that nothing runs like a Deere, and if so, there may be something addictive about operating one. I remember how last year I often found myself cutting the yard at Sarah's, hitting the "circle" for a few hours, and finally working on my yard. Toss in a few hours with the "weed-eater" and the day was shot. Usually, I would be too. Last Saturday was a day like that, and the hot tub beckoned my presence after I crawled off the mower for the last time.

The next morning I remember sitting at the breakfast table around 8:30 a.m. trying to get my eyes to focus on the Sunday Comics of the newspaper. The strong, black coffee helped, but when I picked up the editorial page, I could make out the big print but had trouble reading the text.

After struggling with the paper, I decided to check my email while waiting on Barbara to finish with all those things the fairer sex has to do to make themselves look good before heading off to work or church. She works in the pre-school department at Sunday School and leaves about an hour before I do. An hour is more than I need to do all the things that we of the not-so-fair sex have to do to make ourselves look good.

Two email messages had arrived between the time I got the morning paper and the time I finished reading the parts I could see to read. Both were from my cousin, Bing Crausby. One was a nice inspirational message like the one I had received a week or two earlier from someone else, but the other was a nonsensical piece titled, "Bug a Friend."

The second email was animated with dancing bugs of various sizes and shapes with each set of dancing bugs separated with a line of the following message "Hey, how's it going? Not much going on here, so how are you? Actually I don't have anything to say. I thought I would bug you for a minute. After all, isn't that what friends are for? Thanks for being a friend!"

The first message served as a reminder that I needed to exercise my sainthood and be in church that day. The second message might have only been a cute animation but for the fact a lively tune accompanied it. As I listened to the music, my feet began to keep time with the music.

"That's a peppy piano tune," I thought. "What's the name of that tune?"

Not many tunes get my shoulders to moving, but this one did. Then, seated in my computer chair, my upper body began to sway as my head bounced to the beat. Why, if I hadn't been Baptist, I might have jumped up and danced a jig or whatever goes with a "bluesy," boogie, sounding rock-n-roll rhythm. If I could dance and weren't so inhibited, I would show everyone how to do the Saint Shake at the next Ridge Rider News cookout.

I told a number of folks at church that morning that if Bing Crausby hadn't sent me that email, I probably would never have made it. Somehow, once the tune got me loosened up, I was okay.

I've since asked several folks if they knew the name of the tune and have had mixed results. Jerry Young said he didn't know what it was either, but he liked it, and if his brother Larry ever played it when he had a band in the fifties then he'd have called it "Jam in G."

My musically talented son is a blues aficionado, but his response was not much better. "It could be one of a thousand songs. Why, you could take the words to any Chuck Berry song and lay over the tune."

I've been listening to the song while typing this article, and while I still have no clue as to whether or not it's a real piece of music or just an improvisational mixture of several chord progressions and runs, it has helped me type a lot faster while doing the Saint Shake.

Note: I received an update from Jerry Young after writing the above. He states that according to Margaret Demoville, the song is "Baby Likes To Rock It."

The Ark Noah 2002

Noah built an ark roughly four thousand years ago. Given the magnitude of the task and the tools that were available, it was a remarkable feat. In case one's ever wondered what sort of hurdles a modern Noah might face in accomplishing the task today, someone has done the research for us. The following came as an email from Mark Moss of Colorado:

If Noah had lived in the United States in the year 2002, his story may have gone something like this: And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and the rain shall not stop until it submerges the entire earth and all living flesh is destroyed.

Because of this, I want you to save the righteous people and two of every living species on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark." In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. Daunted by this task, but respectful of God's wishes, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "you must complete and fill the Ark in one year's time."

Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into turmoil. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard weeping. "Noah!" He shouted. "Where is the Ark?"

"Lord, please forgive me, " cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems." First I had to get a permit for construction, and your plans did not meet the building codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved floatation devices.

Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. Then I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I really needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me take the two owls.

The carpenters formed a union and went on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark but still no owls. When I started rounding up the other animals, an animal rights group sued me. They objected to me taking only two of each kind aboard. This suit is pending.

Meanwhile, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the taxes. Then the Army Corp. of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed flood plain. I sent them a globe. Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking atheists aboard.

The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying the state some kind of user tax that I owe them and that I failed to register the Ark as a "recreational water craft". And finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the Earth, it's a religious event, and therefore I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another five or six years.

Noah waited. The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arced across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth, Lord?" "No," He said sadly. "I don't have to. The government already has".

Mississippi Pride More Little Known Facts

The 4-H Club began in Holmes County in 1907.

The Waterways Experiment Station in Vicksburg is the largest research, testing, and development facility of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

On April 25, 1866, women in Columbus decorated the graves of Confederate and Union soldiers in Friendship Cemetery. This gesture became known as Decoration Day, the beginning of what we observe as Memorial Day.

Shoes were first sold as pairs in 1884 at Phil Gilbert's Shoe Parlor in Vicksburg.

Inventor James D. Byrd of Clinton holds seven patents and developed the plastic used as a heat shield by NASA.

Mississippi University for Women in Columbus was the first state college for women in the country, established in 1884.

The McCoy Federal Building in Jackson is the first federal building in the United States named for a Black man. Dr. A. H. McCoy was a dentist and business leader.

Hatmaker John B. Stetson learned and practiced hatmaking in Dunn's Falls, MS.

The oldest field game in America is Stickball, played by the Choctaw Indians of Mississippi. Demonstrations can be seen every July at the Choctaw Indian Fair in Philadelphia, MS.

Alcorn State University in Lorman is the oldest black land grant college in the world.

The International Checkers Hall of Fame is in Petal.

Natchez was settled by the French in 1716 and is the oldest permanent settlement on the Mississippi River. Natchez once had 500 millionaires, more than any other city except New York City. Natchez now has more than 500 buildings that are on the National Register of Historic Places.

Captain Issac Ross of Lorman freed his slaves in 1834 and arranged for their passage to the west coast of Africa. They founded the country of Liberia.

Oliver Pollock was the largest individual financial contributor to the American Revolution. He invented the dollar sign ($). He is buried near Pinckneyville.

Resin Bowie, the inventor of the Bowie Knife, is buried in Port Gibson, MS

Liberty was the first town in the country to erect a Confederate monument in 1871.

The Pass Christian Yacht Club is the second oldest yacht club in North America, founded in 1849.

The Mississippi Legislature passed one of the first laws in 1839 to protect the property rights of married women.

The Natchez Trace Parkway, named an "All American Road" by the federal government, extends from Natchez to just south of Nashville, Tennessee. The Trace began as an Indian trail more than 8,000 years ago.

The Mississippi Delta is the birthplace of the Blues, music truly original to America.

The Vicksburg National Cemetery is the second-largest national cemetery in the country. Arlington National Cemetery is the largest.

D'Lo was featured in Life Magazine for sending proportionally more men to serve in World War II than any other town of its size; 38 percent of the men who lived in D'Lo served.

In 1894, Coca-Cola was first bottled by Joseph A. Biedenharn in Vicksburg.

Mississippi was the first state to outlaw imprisonment of debtors.

The company that makes Icee drinks is owned by Fred Montalvo from Edwards.

Peavey Electronics, in Meridian, is the world's largest manufacturer of musical amplification equipment.

Bodock Beau WWJD

Because two of the articles in this issue are of a "religious nature" the following received from Larry Young seems appropriate.

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda. "The Apostles were in one Accord."

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