RRN Online Volume 263

June 16 '01

Volume 263

Good Examples Making A Differnece

Martha and Mary, names quite familiar Heavenly Concept to persons who frequent the books of the New Testament of the Bible, provide us with a good example of individual differences within a family. Though sisters, they possessed markedly different personalities with Mary seeming to reach out to the ethereal, while Martha, being the perfectionist of the two, concerned herself with performing the daily task of keeping an orderly household.

Conflict among siblings is nothing new, as the Bible attests even in its beginning with an account of a brother killing a brother. Martha may have considered slaying her sister, but the Biblical record does not indicate it. The record does reveal that Martha once became exasperated with her sister and complained to the Master Teacher that Mary was not performing her fair share of the work in preparing a meal for the lunch crowd. Jesus did not scold either woman, but pointed out that Mary was seeking after that which is eternal rather than temporal.

The lessons gained from reading the account include: those things having eternal consequences take priority over all other matters¾a heart filled with anger or frustration can impair one’s spiritual advancement¾food for the soul is as important as food for the stomach.

My mother was more a "Martha" personality than a "Mary." Mom took seriously her role of homemaker. Most Sunday mornings found Mom at home, preparing a Sunday dinner (lunch) rather than attending a church service. She was a Christian and knew the importance of "feeding the soul," but she felt needed in the kitchen.

Those of us who sat at her kitchen table for Sunday dinner never complained that she stayed home to cook, while neglecting her spiritual needs. I shouldn’t say "never," for we probably did at one time, but fell slothful in later years. In retrospect, we should have insisted, over her protests of not having anything to wear, that she attend church. As it was, our presence each Sunday for lunch only reinforced her need to cook for us. Thus, as with many of the lessons of life, we only recognized that our actions impaired the spiritual fulfillment of another, years after the fact.

Both my sister and my wife have managed to break the pattern set by my mother. Somehow, they are able to attend church and still prepare a Sunday dinner. Barbara does so more frequently than Sarah, but on special occasions Sarah rises to the task and prepares lunch for the rest of us. Just as Mom made a conscious choice of behavior that made her most comfortable, so do the present women in my life. Mom missed some spiritual blessings in the choices she made, but then hasn't everyone?

Since making this newsletter available on the Internet, I have had the occasion to renew some old friendships. Gwen Howell Cottrell and I have corresponded on several occasions once she found my web page last year. Gwen comes from a large family; a family spiritually blessed but not spared the duress of life on earth.

The following article, written by Gwen, touched me as I read it, giving me cause to ponder the blessings I may have missed because of an attitude or action on my part, and allowing me to reflect on blessings Mama may have missed. Gwen’s contribution is actually two articles with the first addressed to a sibling and having seriousness that is missing in the second. Enjoy the blessings of both.

The Wooden Spoon

By Gwen Howell Cottrell

Let me share a moment in time from my life while of high school age and living in Pontotoc. By the seventh grade, I had all of seven brothers and three sisters. Being the eldest [sister], I assumed the role of "Martha" in my family. We always reserved Saturday for ironing the clothes, dusting, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing the bathroom…just whatever needed cleaning to get the household in order. Each sibling had an assigned responsibility to complete before playing.

Traditionally, desserts were prepared the day before Sunday. This particular time I decided to bake an Angel Food cake. First the egg whites had to be beaten until light and fluffy as one gradually added the sugar. After [all] the ingredients were in the mixing bowl, the next directions on the recipe read, "beat five hundred times, if by hand." With no electric mixture, there was no alternative.

A significant lesson was learned from this because of an interaction with Janette, a sister six years younger, who eagerly asked to help. My dutiful instructions to her where, "You have to clean the living room first."

As I continued preparing the cake, how I wished that I had not made a requirement before giving her an opportunity to help. If you have ever beaten the batter for an Angel Food cake with a wooden spoon for five hundred strokes, after beating all the egg whites, then you do understand what this experience was like. My arm was throbbing after three hundred strokes. Shifting to the left hand was awkward and ineffective. How could I possibly make it to five hundred?

Silently, I longed for my sister to return to the kitchen. Remembering what I had said, it would have been necessary to humbly ask for assistance. Though this would have brought her pleasure, my stubbornness and determination persevered, selfishly and with pain. Finally, the batter was poured into a tube cake pan and placed into the oven.

Moral of "The Wooden Spoon": Had "the wooden spoon", been shared, both of us would have found joy in the participation and preparation. As thirteen family members gathered around the dinner table, two hearts would have delighted in the serving of the cake. (If I had been "an angel" the cake would have been served without a sore arm.)

This story is dedicated to you, Janette, as you have served so beautifully with a gentle spirit of love. You

are "my Mary," Janette.

Janette’s Reply

Thanks for sharing the story and the loving thoughts with me. I, of course, do not remember the incident. I wonder if I went and did my share of cleaning? Probably not. The story reminds me of another story involving a wooden spoon.

Once when Don and the brothers were building the little storage house out back for Mom, Raegan was over at Grandma's enjoying a nice long talk with her Uncle Don out in the yard. Don enjoyed it for a while himself, but when he felt the conversation needed to end he told Raegan that she probably needed to go inside, because there might be snakes out there.

Raegan quickly replied, "I'm not afraid of snakes, and I'm not afraid of spiders. I'm just afraid of wooden spoons."

Don was a bit perplexed. He couldn't understand why anyone would be afraid of a wooden spoon. What he didn't understand was that Raegan's mom used the wooden spoon to spank Raegan when she needed it. To her, the spoon was a weapon used against her, and she was all too familiar with its sting.

Blitz Built Deaton's New Home

Persons who have had a house built on a selected site by a housing contractor know that once the foundation is poured, the walls put up and blacked in, and a roof set overhead, things tend to slow down. Electrical wiring and wall insulation have to be installed before the interior walls are finished. It doesn't take long before the house appears almost ready. Yet the devil is in the detail. The interior painting and trim work require some time as do installation of cabinets, cupboards, appliances and fixtures. It's not unusual for a homeowner to wait three to six months, even longer for their dream house to be ready.

Pontotoc's local affiliate of Habitat for Humanity performed a Herculean feat during the week following Memorial Day and completed their eighth house in a single week. According to Joe Steen who coordinated the workforce it was a "blitz built" home. Whenever I hear the term "blitz" used outside of the vernacular of football, I think of "blitzkrieg" which was a lightning quick attack perfected by the Nazi's in World War II.

I accompanied my wife to the dedication of the blitz built home last Sunday. As usual, I expressed a reluctance to go, but after considering the fact I had never been to such an event, thought it beneficial for me to attend. There are no feathers on my legs, either. It's just something I figured might be worthwhile as my wife is the Director and Chief Operating Officer for the Pontotoc affiliate of Habitat for Humanity.

Habitat for Humanity has had a local affiliate in Pontotoc for the past ten years, according to Bill Jackson who presided over the dedication of the affiliate's newest house. I had been aware of the existence of the affiliate for perhaps three years, but I've learned more about the work of Habitat over the last month than in all the prior years of its existence.

The concept of affordable housing for everyone is not exclusive to Habitat for Humanity, but theirs is an easily understood statement, "We build simple, decent, affordable, houses in partnership with those in need of adequate shelter."

And build they do! Worldwide, more than 100,000 homes have been built since Habitat for Humanity International was organized in 1976, with 30,000 of these being in the United States.

As I understand the program, qualified individuals are determined, at the local level, based upon their need and their ability to repay a zero percent interest loan. The houses are sold at no profit and are constructed by homeowners and volunteers under the watchful eye of trained supervisors. Individuals, corporations, religious groups, and others provide financial assistance.

To the chagrin of all Democrats, it is not a give-away program. The homeowner must supply some "sweat equity" which is another term for manual labor and is obligated to repay the no interest loan, in order to perpetuate the funding cycle so that other houses can be constructed.

Further defining the uniqueness of Habitat's work is the requirement that local affiliates "tithe" 10% of their funds to be used in home construction abroad. One has never heard of a government program in the U.S. that required anything similar, but it sounds like something the Democrats might want to consider now that they control Congress.

If you want to know more about Habitat for Humanity, pick up a brochure at your local affiliate or keep checking this newsletter, as more articles are apt to follow as I learn more about the work though my wife's work.

The ceremony that I attended was structured but simple with comments offered by various members of the local board and others prior to the house keys being placed into the hands of the new owners. The new owners were among the victims of last February's deadly tornado. Walter and Cathy Deaton lost their thirteen-year old son when the tornado destroyed their mobile home. Their new home is constructed on the same site as their former home. The smallish looking house consists of four bedrooms and two baths and includes a functional kitchen/ dining/ living room combination. It is equipped with central heating and air conditioning and furnished with a stove and refrigerator as well as a washer and dryer. A small storage room is attached to the rear of the house and is accessible from outside.

Pontotoc's Mayor, Bill Rutledge, correctly commented that we were there to witness the dedication of a home, not a house. Pastors on the program also emphasized this fact. The roughly fifty-fifty mix of Whites and Blacks who crowded inside the 1200 square feet of space did not seem at all ill at ease with one another. In fact there appeared to be a genuine recognition of the worth of each one present. I counted thirty-four people standing in the "combo" room during the ceremony and considered there to be a greater number scattered down the hallway and into the bedrooms while noting a few waiting outside the front door. I think seventy-five is a good estimate, which according to my wife is one of the better attendances to date for the Pontotoc affiliate.

Afterwards I partook lightly of the refreshments offered, but I left the ceremony feeling refreshed, having been exposed to that which best characterizes the people of Pontotoc, a willingness to help those in need, a strong sense of community spirit, a bond between various churches with all committed to serving the same Lord, and a recognition of the importance of the family unit to society. Now, if only the planners of the ceremonies can come up with a blitz dedication service, I'm sure to enjoy the next one even more.

Vacation Memories Tell It Your Way

It stayed on my mind all last summer and still I forgot to solicit vacation memories from readers. I have learned that many readers have never had a special Christmas, but I have yet to learn that the readership of this newsletter has never had a great vacation or a particularly bad one either. Therefore, between now and the 7^th of July, readers are encouraged to contribute a special "Vacation Memory." We'd all love to hear it, good or bad.

I wrote about my worst vacation several years ago, and if I can find a copy of it, I'll share it. Don't delay; write today.

Bodock Beau About Men & Women

It has been noted by those both more astute and those less astute than me that "Men and Women ARE Different." Ken Gaillard contributed the following observations.

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOM: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENT: A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS: Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about Dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

For Original Material Only